What are the effects of a Narcissistic mother on her daughter? When you imagine a picturesque mother-daughter relationship, what do you see? The compassionate, warm mother who can make every problem seemingly disappear? The daughter who turns to her mother with every secret? The loving, respectful bond that morphs into a beautiful friendship?
For daughters of narcissistic mothers, the relationship doesn’t resemble anything like traditional love. Instead, it often seems like a constant, losing battle. These daughters often spend their childhoods feeling confused, alone, and frightened.
As they grow up, their feelings may become even more intensified.
Narcissists have an inflated sense of ego and prioritize their needs and desires above anyone else’s.
They consistently perceive themselves as important, superior, and entitled to have what they want.
Subsequently, they often have little disregard for emotion, and they can become quickly reactive and even hostile when things don’t go their way.
Let’s review some of the other telltale signs of narcissistic mothers.
Rather than relate to their children as independent individuals, narcissists see them as mere extensions of themselves. Therefore, if you have unique thoughts or needs, you are more likely to be punished rather than celebrated.
Narcissistic mothers may live vicariously through you by forcing certain ideals or expectations onto you. For example, they might make you dance if they loved to dance. They might dress you up in girly outfits even if you identify more tomboyish.
Because narcissists want others to admire them, they often love showing off their child’s attributes. Even though they might be critical of you at home, they tend to relish in other people’s approval of your skills, appearance, or accomplishments.
Many narcissists will turn to social media to brag about their children. However, this approach isn’t about praising you- it’s about showcasing their excellent job in raising you!
Narcissists are not mindful of other people’s thoughts or feelings. Instead, they only reflect on themselves. They often perceive other people as objects, accessories, or competitors- not as whole people with varying needs and emotions. As a result, they are not able to validate you for your experiences. Instead, they often shame you for thinking or feeling differently from them.